..from this rut. I know well that I’m not taking my potential seriously. It has got to stop! Shucks. Can you see L.O.S.E.R printed on my forehead?
Focus is what I need right now and I’m not 100% in it. sucks. I must learn to write longer blog posts. It’s a sin to only have two paragraphs on every single post. lol! Then again, it is my blog and I’m allowed to! This post is so going to be extremely random. Topics will be flying from all sorts of direction. North. South. East. West. North East. So on and so forth.
So I’ll be flying off to the Land of Smiles this Sunday for 2 weeks and I’m quite excited despite warnings of the pandemic. Two weeks is a long time even though I’ll be in class 10 days out of the 14 and I’m convinced that by day seven I’d be bawling my eyes out from missing home. tee hee. Shopping and sightseeing plans have been made, well sorta, Chatuchak, Wat Pho and the lot! Considering that I only have one weekend there, I won’t be able to make any trips out of the city henceforth all shopping and sightseeing will be done within. I’m trying to make the most of my trip there especially during the evenings. Plan is to scout the surrounding area within the vicinity of the hotel then slowly head out, and apparently we’re only like five-minutes walk from Siam Paragon! Woohoo! Yes, I have done extensive research about the city and where is what. 
On another note, he’s left the country for pretty much good. It didn’t take me long to tear up once it hit me on the night before he was due to fly off. Unable to see him while he was still here was fine, but now that he’s NOT here anymore, it’s beginning to take a toll on me. What pisses me off the most is that, I didn’t at least make an effort to pick up the phone and call him or to even asked to see him. I continued being proud and pride was getting the worst of me. I kept telling myself that I wasn’t suppose to feel this way. Godspeed baby. Sigh. If work didn’t occupy me most of the time, I don’t think I can handle not thinking about him all the time. Work is my only escape nowadays and to think the I hate it most majority of the time, I’m savoring it now. I’d rather have too much work then no work at all.
Keeping a low profile is my middle name also these days. I don’t think I’ve seen my drinking buddies in awhile with the exception of last Monday when I happened to bump into them at the pub. I haven’t the mood the go to the pub off late, it’s weird and I can’t comprehend why. My room is my only solace and I actually feel content just staying in there forever. lol. kidding. I remember when he keeps telling me, ‘you don’t need to be shy when you’re out there taking photos‘. My only response was, ‘Not that I’m shy, I feel intimidated by all the big ass cameras that those so called ‘professional’ photographers carry. It spells out, I’m a PRO!‘ He’d laugh out loud and said, ‘Y’know, just because they carry ‘big ass camera’ means they take good photos. Hell, some of them suck!‘. LOL. He sure knows how to make a girl feel better about herself. He’s constantly encouraging me to bring my camera everywhere we went and get out there. He’s sweet like that.
Sigh. I miss him.
Anyways, from now onwards I promise I’m going to bring my camera everywhere with me even if I take sucky photos. LOL!
I guess I’ve ranted enough for now. I’ll be leaving in a few days, hopefully I’ll blog something again by then. I know I bore everyone to death with my rhetoric noodly posts. I suck! Boo!
